We Scandinavian-Americans---Godless and Happy or Just Waiting for the Bottle to Point that Gun Towards the Head

I have always been secretly proud of my heritage. It may be true that I am actually just as much Swiss as I am Scandinavian but I can't quite remember. However, this article reinforces everything I hold true in my sisters and brothers of the cold, beautiful Northern Europe. http://www.salon.com/books/review/2008/10/22/zuckerman/

I, too, am a godless heathen with tendencies towards alcoholism, bouts of depression, extreme compassion for fellow citizens, the belief in universal health care and education for all. If McCain wins maybe I will move to the Motherland.

Redesign part deux

Hey, we also redesigned our MySpace profile. Well, we are not done yet. New songs, new info, new bio's, hopefully new videos. Hmmm, at least the font is different.

One in the Oktopus MySpace:
www.myspace.com/oneintheoktopusmusic

We Have Changed Genres. Did You Notice?

Our band has changed from an experimental noise band based on scoring visual mediums to a experimental ambient found sound band based on creating and scoring visual mediums. Confused? Yeah, me too. We did this all without even having any practices since the last time we played. Not entirely true, I guess. Mo' and I have written about four albums worth of ideas and parodies and high art concepts. However, we are gunning to do a little minivan touring by playing ambient soundscapes created out of Mo's Frankenstein lab audio manipulations, crazy inventive instruments and my, well, hopefully undying urge to play these wonderful toys. We look to lick our chops locally before hitting the great beyond. If there are any grantwriters out there, we need your expertise. We have an insanely excellent project in the cobwebs of our lab lockers. We need an injection of cash to make it a reality. You could help us make history or at least propel us down the blacktops of Ameri-Canada, bringing smiles to arty hipsters and befuddling pretentious alternative newspaper reviewers everywhere. I promised Mo' that I would drive most of the way. We just have to get his family into the house before the horrible gray rains wash our enthusiasm into the filling gutters of our humble town.

My dog Loki says she thinks you are sweet,
E. Charles Fridell

New List---
Last Five Shows I Have Overheard Mo' & Vangie's Kids Watching While
I Slack Off from My Questionably Helpful House Building Duties

5. Scooby Doo Meets The Boo Brothers (new, ghosts have cell phones)
4. Spirit (a show where a very bored Matt Damon voices a horse)
3. The Berenstein Bears (also updated with internet references)
2. Something? Poo (claymation kids show about a talking piece of dog shit and a Deep South, post-Emancipation Proclamation clump of soil---weirdly awesome)
1. Astro Boy (don't know anything except that it's Mo's fav theme song ever)

New Blogtastic Blog! (I know, too many exclamation points)

Whaddya think? Let me know. I think it looks better. Anyone?

Let's Start Linking or Let's Start Forcible Internet Surfing

This is my old, old friend Tom Musgrave imitating fantasy Me in a funny commercial role for Cisco Systems. He plays the 04, the Screenwriter. Go to the pluses at the end of the actual commercial and you will see Meet the Screenwriter plus sign. http://www.cisco.com/cdc_content_elements/humannetwork/index.html
Actors, ha! I guess he just joined the overpopulation team. Congratulations!

I love this band, loooooove.
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/feature/146223-interview-sigur-rs.
And no they are not in those Audi A4 commercials. http://www.audiusa.com/audi/us/en2.html
They are just a few (really awesome) composers from a LA-based music house (albeit one of the coolest music houses in the entire world). I smell an uncredited rip-off. But I like the music...of course.

Are you a Scientologist?

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

If you are a breathing human or alien and claim to be funny, creative, or awesome, you need to know this person and what he does. http://jacksonpublick.livejournal.com/. OK, most of you who read this already do.

On The Simpsons right now---
Moe- If Homer had used protection we would all be pooping roses right now.
Yes, I realize this is not a link. It was just funny, OK?

One in the Oktopus ad nausea plug. Go to The Internet Archive. http//www.archive.org. Completely free public domain government movies from the past, free live concert downloads, free music, free books, free...you get the point. Go there, GO NOW, GO! If you are unimpressed we will play your birthday, anniversary, or funeral...for a nominal fee.

Can you tell I learned how to use hyperlinks and embed videos? I am such an idiot. Twelve-year-olds do this one-handed while playing Halo 3. Speaking of that check out my somewhat mediocre stats on online multiplayer Halo 3 at http//www.bungie.net. Go to "My Stats" on the header, then scroll to "Find a Player" and type in Oktopusloki. You should be on my profile and click Halo 3 Service Record. All the stats from every game I have ever played are on there. Already bored? At least check out my cool picture. That's me throwing a sticky grenade from the heavens. My opponent soon tastes a plasma-y, gooey death. Then again, that's pretty lame. Go outside and kick footballs (or futbols for my Canadian and non-American friends).

This has been fun!

Another new, pointless feature---

The Last Five Songs I Listened To
5. Colorado by Grizzly Bear
4. Holy Smokes/Winners Take All by Aesop Rock
3. In the Reins by Calexico and Iron & Wine
2. The Hamm's Beer Theme Song from 1956 (Very Cool)
1. Fireworks by Animal Collective

Parting Shot brought to you by God, the invisible giant you turn to when you die.

I love you and yours madly,
ECF

The wiping of strange butts and other oddities from the Land of How Did I Get Here in Life

There is a three-year-old asking me to wipe his butt after his poop. Since he is not in any way related to me, I find it weird. However, he diffused my apprehension by claiming that we are "best buds" and singing something about rocket ships to the universe of Love. Truly!

I think my online poker game (thanks Pat!) is at an all-time high. I am placing in about fifty percent of my tournaments. I would love to take a shot at this full time. Anyone want to give me $1,000 in seed money. I guarantee I will come up ahead. OK, maybe not guarantee, but I promise to not blow it all on blackjack. Remember the birthday car, son.

Just saw a Fuck Buttons (they are a band) show on www.pitchfork.tv. They kinda blatantly ripped our band (One in the Oktopus or One and the Oktopus) off. Pretty sure they never heard of us, though.

The filming of a few of our shorts is on the horizon. More details later.

Kristine, sorry about the turnaround on Chuck Klosterman. You should know that I have softened many hardline stances I used to take on subjects. The only thing that remains is the perception that I am still a stubborn prick who pounds his fists drunkenly at points that I deem universal (Freddy) truths. I am constantly amazed at people saying shit about me that is blatantly off-the-mark.

-No I am not a loose poker player. (Change your styles up, dummy)
-I do not hate things. I merely like something more than others.
-I am generally very happy and easygoing.
-I do not fancy myself an intellectual. (I know I am kinda smart and have some different interest...maps...instrumental drone...soviet lore...metaphysical philosophic meditation) However, that does not mean I am conceited. I don't know how to plumb a toilet, split an atom, design a artful ad campaign, run for office, survey a sightline, run a rapid, gut a salmon, build a defensive trenchwork system, control weather, read tarot cards, make money, do over half of the positions in the Kama Sutra, play the cello, please my parents, fly an airplane, calm the fuck down, and a few other things. In other words, I know my limitations before you (said knower of my life) decide to exclaim how/who/what I am or believe. I also know my strong suits.
-I realize trivia does not mean you are smart.
-Finally, I am not gay (entirely). No matter how it weirds you out that I don't like seeing dudes kick the shit out of each other (which, by the way, half-naked ripped dudes grappling for an quarter of an hour is REALLY GAY! Ask the old Greeks). I really, really, stupidly, agonizingly, happily love the fairer sex, the (supposedly) better half.

Yeah, I like Grizzly Bear. Supergay, right!

I golfed yesterday for the first time in almost a year. I miss you golf. You were near and dear to me. Too bad you are so expensive, you haughty mistress.

I was going to post a picture of me on a mini-excavator ripping up my friend Mo's house but I lost it. You will just have to envision me as a manual laborer. Tough, right? Yeah, I don't blame you.

OK, that's all for now. I wiped the butt and I feel OK about it. I think his parents are enjoying my crash course in the whirlwind world of parenting. Kids are super-manipulative. They are little brilliant (in the words of my brother-in-law) dicks.

More scholarly shit later like this missive...

My friend told me yesterday that some guy posted on Craigslist for help at his contracting business. The workers were to meet at a bank dressed in blue overalls first thing in the morning. He received twelve or more confirmations. Well, they came down to work...the dude robbed the armored truck arriving at a bank, slipped away down a manhole and caught a boat for a getaway at a designated spot on the river. The cops, meanwhile, were busy interviewing the twelve or more look-alikes in their blue jumpsuits. Dude made off with a half million. Brilliant. Kudos. I said, "that should be made into a movie". Friend said, "already did...Thomas Crown Affair!" Never saw it but now I am little less impressed but love the real life application. Since all the money is federally insured we should all be taking out our own "buyout package". I am easily as financially incompetent as supposed business leaders, plus probably not even as corrupt. I do fancy myself a philanthropists, after all. Where's my goddamn bailout?

Until then, I love you all deeply.
E. Charles Fridell