Monday, May 29, 2006

To This There Is No End In "The Valley In The Shadow of Death"



One and the Oktopus would mournfully like to honor not just American military deaths but all people who are subjegated, bought, drafted, conscripted, and pressed economically into service. This also includes all the people who willingly join for nationalistic, idealistic notions or otherwise. To someone somewhere a terrorist is a freedom fighter and a liberator is nothing more than a warmonger and all causes are dualistic and just. From revolutions to defending homelands to colonialism to outright wrongful occupation there will be bloodshed over water, food, oil, hatred, ignorance, tyranny, religion, land, resources, and righteous indignation. This is for the combatants of the Crimean War, The Great War, The American Revolution, The War of Mexican Independance, WWII, The Civil Wars of All Nations, African Tribal Skirmishes, The Haiti Slave Revolt, The October Revolution, The Cold War and so many others. This is for Simon Bolivar, George Washington, Napolean, Trotsky and Lenin, Che Guevara and Fidel Castro, Crazy Horse, Dalliaire, Nat Turner, et al.

Those faceless infantrymen are always in my mind. They are not heroes nor villians. Only people.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

An Agreement, A Future, A Fabrication...



Thanks for responding responders. Chas...I agree bloggers are as useless as GM-chicken and protohippies. It is about as annoying as having everyone you pass on the street stop and implore you to read their super-boring diary entry. That said, I have reunited electronically with you, Ivan, Tom Musgrave, Hue...so there are necessary evils and wonderful dollops of happy. Plus, I promise to not bombard anyone with anything daily except truly relevent One and the Oktopus news.

These are my three current jobs...

1) FX Networks are sponsoring a comedy contest in which they are accepting 5 minute video shorts by June 18th. The winner receives $50,000 and the opportunity to make a pilot for a future series on FX (ya know...the network with crappy Spin City reruns and tons of King of the Hill). By the way, how did anyone ever buy Mike A. Fox (yeah his real middle name starts with A, sounded too Canadian though) as a domineering deputy mayor or a dwarf capable of wooing Heather Locklear. I call bullshit!

2) www.55dsl.com is currently accepting video applications for a job that requires two people to travel around the world for 55 days videotaping, downloading, and blogging their way to adventure. Travel and get paid. Be just like all the frauds who call themselves travel journalists and travel writers. Sounds right up my fraudulent alley. The web company is located in Italy so I am assuming that they will have a correct anti-American bias. Good thing I have a Canadian on my side and you know that One and the Oktopus will show them how anti-everything we can be (while ostensibly still promoting the hell outta how everything is so great and grand and life is so precious.

3) Finally, One and the Oktopus have issued a FOIA (Freedom of Information Act) request to the DOD (Department of Defense) in order that they may release what we consider the gold mine of Cold War-era paranoia, fun, and apocalyptic mayhem. Throughout history militarisimos have enacted war games in order to try and predict certain outcomes from different military-socio-economical scenarios. We have learned that many DOD war games in the Cold War Era featured fabricated news broadcasts depicting horrendous worldwide events, political assassinations, and Communist takeover of entire Western "democracies" (and much more juicy fantasia from the sharpest minds in the Pentagon). If granted the ability to view them (as they are most undoubtably now public domain videos) we are going to make the most grandiose docudrama the world has ever seen. For a similar preview please consult the fabulous website called www.archive.org. It is the worlds largest public domain archive (which means anyone can use this free of charge) containing amazing governmental videos, tons of free live music, massive book collections and so much more. It's where I spend the majority of my time. Just picture this dorkiness...me huddled in a tiny corner of the WWW on a rainy afternoon pouring over hundreds of public domain films. Amazing I am still single, huh!

***Anyone interested in co-writing any scripts for the FX thing or any One and the Oktopus project, get your ass to Oregon. I've got room. I am looking at you, Musgrave. Tom. Hello? You promised me (you were probably drunk but it still counts)***

Monday, May 08, 2006

Jump like this idiot because we have a Special Announcement!


ONE and the OKTOPUS are pleased to announce we have gone into the dark caverns of our fragile eggshell minds to construct our second "feature" length movie. This project does not currently have a working title but you can rest assured that it will be something special. All I can really say about it is that it is ARTacular!

Just a preview...
Afrocentric Slam Poets
Virginal Landscape Sculpturists
Thought-provocative Bull Dyke Comedy Revues
Disgruntled Botched Transsexuals
Upper-Middle Class Stuggling Painters who live in the Park
Dynamic Asexual Interpretive Dancers
one truly kindhearted art critic
all who live in one small town
and much much more...


Just to recap that brings our project list to:

"Features"
These Were Turbulent Times (sorta-finished)
Freddy vs. The Yeti (in process)
SpiritDancer (scrapped, backburner...but we did have multiple writing sessions)
Hippie Massacre IV: The Final Slaughter (conceived never started, brilliant film, no budget)
Postfontaine (halted for fear of being savagely beaten and tossed out of our city...a beautifully hatched out movie about a punk band of zombies who are reincarnations of Steve Prefontaine the much beloved distance runner hailing from our fair city of Eugene...also one of the greatest band names ever, too bad I have a copyright on it, suckers)
Unnamed New Movie (we have started writing and casting this movie...ohh goodie! T. Musgrave I have a great part for you as a former gay telemarketer...are you listening?)

"Shorts"
WigMan vs. Baghead
WigMan and Baghead eat Breakfest
Freddy and the Yeti at the High School Track Meet
WigMan and Baghead play baseball
Under Sam's House

and countless other projects that were written and never done.

If you want to join the Canadian Pickpocketers Guild send a SASE enclosed with $3500 to:

Canadian Pickpocketers Guild
"Dreaming Up Stuff and Not Doing It Since 1926"
1756 W. 24th Avenue
Eugene, OR 97405

***you will receive a free copy of These Were Turbulent Times along with ONE and the OKTOPUS merchandise...sure to be collectables in the not-so-distant future***

Also ONE and the OKTOPUS have are currently writing their tenatively titled LP "Red Star at the Redeemer Gates" featuring the writing talents of Evangaline and Mo'. We will trudge into the studio sometime this summer to put sounds to the words. Beware!