An Agreement, A Future, A Fabrication...

Thanks for responding responders. Chas...I agree bloggers are as useless as GM-chicken and protohippies. It is about as annoying as having everyone you pass on the street stop and implore you to read their super-boring diary entry. That said, I have reunited electronically with you, Ivan, Tom Musgrave, Hue...so there are necessary evils and wonderful dollops of happy. Plus, I promise to not bombard anyone with anything daily except truly relevent One and the Oktopus news.

These are my three current jobs...

1) FX Networks are sponsoring a comedy contest in which they are accepting 5 minute video shorts by June 18th. The winner receives $50,000 and the opportunity to make a pilot for a future series on FX (ya know...the network with crappy Spin City reruns and tons of King of the Hill). By the way, how did anyone ever buy Mike A. Fox (yeah his real middle name starts with A, sounded too Canadian though) as a domineering deputy mayor or a dwarf capable of wooing Heather Locklear. I call bullshit!

2) www.55dsl.com is currently accepting video applications for a job that requires two people to travel around the world for 55 days videotaping, downloading, and blogging their way to adventure. Travel and get paid. Be just like all the frauds who call themselves travel journalists and travel writers. Sounds right up my fraudulent alley. The web company is located in Italy so I am assuming that they will have a correct anti-American bias. Good thing I have a Canadian on my side and you know that One and the Oktopus will show them how anti-everything we can be (while ostensibly still promoting the hell outta how everything is so great and grand and life is so precious.

3) Finally, One and the Oktopus have issued a FOIA (Freedom of Information Act) request to the DOD (Department of Defense) in order that they may release what we consider the gold mine of Cold War-era paranoia, fun, and apocalyptic mayhem. Throughout history militarisimos have enacted war games in order to try and predict certain outcomes from different military-socio-economical scenarios. We have learned that many DOD war games in the Cold War Era featured fabricated news broadcasts depicting horrendous worldwide events, political assassinations, and Communist takeover of entire Western "democracies" (and much more juicy fantasia from the sharpest minds in the Pentagon). If granted the ability to view them (as they are most undoubtably now public domain videos) we are going to make the most grandiose docudrama the world has ever seen. For a similar preview please consult the fabulous website called www.archive.org. It is the worlds largest public domain archive (which means anyone can use this free of charge) containing amazing governmental videos, tons of free live music, massive book collections and so much more. It's where I spend the majority of my time. Just picture this dorkiness...me huddled in a tiny corner of the WWW on a rainy afternoon pouring over hundreds of public domain films. Amazing I am still single, huh!

***Anyone interested in co-writing any scripts for the FX thing or any One and the Oktopus project, get your ass to Oregon. I've got room. I am looking at you, Musgrave. Tom. Hello? You promised me (you were probably drunk but it still counts)***