Long Lonely Drive Big Vast Empty West or "I am sorry Mike Wild. I didn't know you were paying attention!"

I just got back from the Tundra, the homeland, the womb of my formation, the Icebox of America and a couple of things stuck out in my mind.

-I was amazed at how quickly my Minnesota accent came rushing back.
-There are various levels of where some friends I know are and I wade amongst them trying to place myself in the their swimming lanes...didn't really fit anywhere.
-Not just pandering but you, Mike, are one of my favorite people. Always have been. It's funny how people pick lives and they just work out and they are happy. Obviously not my forte.
-I had at least four different lives in Fargo. Weird.

OK, what I really wanted to talk about was driving halfway across country by yourself. I love it, especially across the extremely lonely, beautiful West. The space in between Bismarck, ND and Billings, MT is so incredibly haunting to me. It magnifies the real lonely parts on my mind and soul but also is kind of reaffirming in fact that no one is out there. Or whoever is out there, why the hell are you out there. It's timeless and primordial. You can see the long formation of landscapes. You can envision the stupefying hardships of native nomads or later, the relentless onslaught of frontier folk. The impressive lack of civilization out there just fucking kills me. I always turn on some AM radio on these long drives. I listen to it all---nutjob right-wingers, local women sharing recipes, crop reports, and Canadian broadcasts from Manitoba. However, my favorite comes at night when you are all alone out on the Interstate. I see a car about every hour and the only artificial light comes from my headlights or the rare ranch miles and miles in the distance. This is the time at night when they do the conspiracy theory shows, the UFO craziness, the not uncommon devil possessed family member, the haunting horror radio plays. It just creeps the hell out of me. In reality the Interstate is the easy way out and is really more insulating than I give it credit. If I really wanted to freak myself out I would do the old Blue Highways trip with no map (which I have done much in the past but I didn't have the time or money this time). AM radio is the shit...

I about drove myself insane on this trip. I did it in 27 hours. It was kind of stupid as I almost fell asleep numerous times on road. I only slept once at a scuzzy Rest Area in Idaho. Pulled in to the place and it was filled with truckers sleeping off some rust and when I woke up I was the only car in the place. For once, though, I really ran out of things to say to myself. Absolutely I was annoyed with my own thoughts, sick of talking to myself in my own head so I decided to go off with the weirdness. I will spare you the boring details but here are some highlights.

-I did pretty much the exact same trip that Lewis & Clark did except it only took me 27 hours. I kept having fake conversation with them and their hardscrabble crew as though I had just picked them up as hitchhikers.

-I was delirious enough to actually visualize dinosaurs roaming on the plains.

-Pretended I met a women in Cut Bank, MT and married her. How would my life be then? Sundays down at the ol' VFW? Pickup truck and bent hat?

-Knew if there was an Apocalyptic event that this is where I would be. Gas and gun running across the interior basin.

Enough. But, damn, what a trip!

This is my favorite song of the month.

We Scandinavian-Americans---Godless and Happy or Just Waiting for the Bottle to Point that Gun Towards the Head

I have always been secretly proud of my heritage. It may be true that I am actually just as much Swiss as I am Scandinavian but I can't quite remember. However, this article reinforces everything I hold true in my sisters and brothers of the cold, beautiful Northern Europe. http://www.salon.com/books/review/2008/10/22/zuckerman/

I, too, am a godless heathen with tendencies towards alcoholism, bouts of depression, extreme compassion for fellow citizens, the belief in universal health care and education for all. If McCain wins maybe I will move to the Motherland.

Redesign part deux

Hey, we also redesigned our MySpace profile. Well, we are not done yet. New songs, new info, new bio's, hopefully new videos. Hmmm, at least the font is different.

One in the Oktopus MySpace:
www.myspace.com/oneintheoktopusmusic

We Have Changed Genres. Did You Notice?

Our band has changed from an experimental noise band based on scoring visual mediums to a experimental ambient found sound band based on creating and scoring visual mediums. Confused? Yeah, me too. We did this all without even having any practices since the last time we played. Not entirely true, I guess. Mo' and I have written about four albums worth of ideas and parodies and high art concepts. However, we are gunning to do a little minivan touring by playing ambient soundscapes created out of Mo's Frankenstein lab audio manipulations, crazy inventive instruments and my, well, hopefully undying urge to play these wonderful toys. We look to lick our chops locally before hitting the great beyond. If there are any grantwriters out there, we need your expertise. We have an insanely excellent project in the cobwebs of our lab lockers. We need an injection of cash to make it a reality. You could help us make history or at least propel us down the blacktops of Ameri-Canada, bringing smiles to arty hipsters and befuddling pretentious alternative newspaper reviewers everywhere. I promised Mo' that I would drive most of the way. We just have to get his family into the house before the horrible gray rains wash our enthusiasm into the filling gutters of our humble town.

My dog Loki says she thinks you are sweet,
E. Charles Fridell

New List---
Last Five Shows I Have Overheard Mo' & Vangie's Kids Watching While
I Slack Off from My Questionably Helpful House Building Duties

5. Scooby Doo Meets The Boo Brothers (new, ghosts have cell phones)
4. Spirit (a show where a very bored Matt Damon voices a horse)
3. The Berenstein Bears (also updated with internet references)
2. Something? Poo (claymation kids show about a talking piece of dog shit and a Deep South, post-Emancipation Proclamation clump of soil---weirdly awesome)
1. Astro Boy (don't know anything except that it's Mo's fav theme song ever)

New Blogtastic Blog! (I know, too many exclamation points)

Whaddya think? Let me know. I think it looks better. Anyone?

Let's Start Linking or Let's Start Forcible Internet Surfing

This is my old, old friend Tom Musgrave imitating fantasy Me in a funny commercial role for Cisco Systems. He plays the 04, the Screenwriter. Go to the pluses at the end of the actual commercial and you will see Meet the Screenwriter plus sign. http://www.cisco.com/cdc_content_elements/humannetwork/index.html
Actors, ha! I guess he just joined the overpopulation team. Congratulations!

I love this band, loooooove.
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/feature/146223-interview-sigur-rs.
And no they are not in those Audi A4 commercials. http://www.audiusa.com/audi/us/en2.html
They are just a few (really awesome) composers from a LA-based music house (albeit one of the coolest music houses in the entire world). I smell an uncredited rip-off. But I like the music...of course.

Are you a Scientologist?

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

If you are a breathing human or alien and claim to be funny, creative, or awesome, you need to know this person and what he does. http://jacksonpublick.livejournal.com/. OK, most of you who read this already do.

On The Simpsons right now---
Moe- If Homer had used protection we would all be pooping roses right now.
Yes, I realize this is not a link. It was just funny, OK?

One in the Oktopus ad nausea plug. Go to The Internet Archive. http//www.archive.org. Completely free public domain government movies from the past, free live concert downloads, free music, free books, free...you get the point. Go there, GO NOW, GO! If you are unimpressed we will play your birthday, anniversary, or funeral...for a nominal fee.

Can you tell I learned how to use hyperlinks and embed videos? I am such an idiot. Twelve-year-olds do this one-handed while playing Halo 3. Speaking of that check out my somewhat mediocre stats on online multiplayer Halo 3 at http//www.bungie.net. Go to "My Stats" on the header, then scroll to "Find a Player" and type in Oktopusloki. You should be on my profile and click Halo 3 Service Record. All the stats from every game I have ever played are on there. Already bored? At least check out my cool picture. That's me throwing a sticky grenade from the heavens. My opponent soon tastes a plasma-y, gooey death. Then again, that's pretty lame. Go outside and kick footballs (or futbols for my Canadian and non-American friends).

This has been fun!

Another new, pointless feature---

The Last Five Songs I Listened To
5. Colorado by Grizzly Bear
4. Holy Smokes/Winners Take All by Aesop Rock
3. In the Reins by Calexico and Iron & Wine
2. The Hamm's Beer Theme Song from 1956 (Very Cool)
1. Fireworks by Animal Collective

Parting Shot brought to you by God, the invisible giant you turn to when you die.

I love you and yours madly,
ECF

The wiping of strange butts and other oddities from the Land of How Did I Get Here in Life

There is a three-year-old asking me to wipe his butt after his poop. Since he is not in any way related to me, I find it weird. However, he diffused my apprehension by claiming that we are "best buds" and singing something about rocket ships to the universe of Love. Truly!

I think my online poker game (thanks Pat!) is at an all-time high. I am placing in about fifty percent of my tournaments. I would love to take a shot at this full time. Anyone want to give me $1,000 in seed money. I guarantee I will come up ahead. OK, maybe not guarantee, but I promise to not blow it all on blackjack. Remember the birthday car, son.

Just saw a Fuck Buttons (they are a band) show on www.pitchfork.tv. They kinda blatantly ripped our band (One in the Oktopus or One and the Oktopus) off. Pretty sure they never heard of us, though.

The filming of a few of our shorts is on the horizon. More details later.

Kristine, sorry about the turnaround on Chuck Klosterman. You should know that I have softened many hardline stances I used to take on subjects. The only thing that remains is the perception that I am still a stubborn prick who pounds his fists drunkenly at points that I deem universal (Freddy) truths. I am constantly amazed at people saying shit about me that is blatantly off-the-mark.

-No I am not a loose poker player. (Change your styles up, dummy)
-I do not hate things. I merely like something more than others.
-I am generally very happy and easygoing.
-I do not fancy myself an intellectual. (I know I am kinda smart and have some different interest...maps...instrumental drone...soviet lore...metaphysical philosophic meditation) However, that does not mean I am conceited. I don't know how to plumb a toilet, split an atom, design a artful ad campaign, run for office, survey a sightline, run a rapid, gut a salmon, build a defensive trenchwork system, control weather, read tarot cards, make money, do over half of the positions in the Kama Sutra, play the cello, please my parents, fly an airplane, calm the fuck down, and a few other things. In other words, I know my limitations before you (said knower of my life) decide to exclaim how/who/what I am or believe. I also know my strong suits.
-I realize trivia does not mean you are smart.
-Finally, I am not gay (entirely). No matter how it weirds you out that I don't like seeing dudes kick the shit out of each other (which, by the way, half-naked ripped dudes grappling for an quarter of an hour is REALLY GAY! Ask the old Greeks). I really, really, stupidly, agonizingly, happily love the fairer sex, the (supposedly) better half.

Yeah, I like Grizzly Bear. Supergay, right!

I golfed yesterday for the first time in almost a year. I miss you golf. You were near and dear to me. Too bad you are so expensive, you haughty mistress.

I was going to post a picture of me on a mini-excavator ripping up my friend Mo's house but I lost it. You will just have to envision me as a manual laborer. Tough, right? Yeah, I don't blame you.

OK, that's all for now. I wiped the butt and I feel OK about it. I think his parents are enjoying my crash course in the whirlwind world of parenting. Kids are super-manipulative. They are little brilliant (in the words of my brother-in-law) dicks.

More scholarly shit later like this missive...

My friend told me yesterday that some guy posted on Craigslist for help at his contracting business. The workers were to meet at a bank dressed in blue overalls first thing in the morning. He received twelve or more confirmations. Well, they came down to work...the dude robbed the armored truck arriving at a bank, slipped away down a manhole and caught a boat for a getaway at a designated spot on the river. The cops, meanwhile, were busy interviewing the twelve or more look-alikes in their blue jumpsuits. Dude made off with a half million. Brilliant. Kudos. I said, "that should be made into a movie". Friend said, "already did...Thomas Crown Affair!" Never saw it but now I am little less impressed but love the real life application. Since all the money is federally insured we should all be taking out our own "buyout package". I am easily as financially incompetent as supposed business leaders, plus probably not even as corrupt. I do fancy myself a philanthropists, after all. Where's my goddamn bailout?

Until then, I love you all deeply.
E. Charles Fridell

David Foster Wallace has left the world

I just learned that author David Foster Wallace committed suicide.

I am sad beyond belief and I don't know why.

I didn't know him, read only a few of his books, enjoyed them but not obsessively, and actually wrote this really long song that I transposed a few paragraphs from a story in one of his books. I remember bringing a book on tape for a cross-country trip with my friend Kristine (she hated it, by the way) and being really saddened by this material. A written sign or just brilliant melancholy words? I don't know and I don't really care. I don't like reading into things to try to find clues into a person's present psyche. There are patterns and signs, I know but...

(Sigh)

Extremely Boring Post Following

With my new charge of trying to blog everyday there is bound to be posts that are ultimately boring as hell (is hell boring?).

-Went out job searching this morning and shockingly have not been offered various employment yet at shit I want to do. Still have not found a way to make even minimal money for things I would like to do. No matter, I am declining nothing at this point.

-Have to wait until 5pm Pacific for the Minnesota Twins to try and pull within 1/2 game of the hated ChiSox. Stoked. However, I don't have anyone to watch baseball with right now...kind of depressing...where you at, Driz? I should just go down to the bar and find friends to watch it but I never liked doing that and I am not drinking so...

-Where is the outrage at this buyout? www.salon.com

-Would have liked to been at ATP New York. Even though I didn't like any of these bands in the 90's it would've the shoegazingest fest ever. Plus, by all indications this was exactly the kind of non-festival festival I would love. Indoor, intimate, swimming & tennis & golf & poker with non-pretentious indie rock legends. Read a good review at www.pitchforkmedia.com

-Today smelled like autumn. Glorious.

-China to take over space, universe.



Love you all,
ECF

I think Chuck Klosterman is like me. That sucks!

I just read an interview with Chuck Klosterman by this girl from salon.com. Klosterman is a writer who grew up in North Dakota, writes columns for Spin magazine and various other "glossy" New York mags, and is apparently a lot like what I perceive myself to be (only he is successful and makes money). He is brazen about the stupidest pop-culture shit that I usually feel embarrassed to actually know but it seems like he generally just doesn't give a shit.

***on a personal note, Chuck Klosterman used to sit in the Rockstar booth at Duffy's Tavern in Fargo, ND previous to my three-year run of owning that booth. I would like to think I served it well but I would have to ask him***

I had already decided that I hate him because I read his dumb celebrity bits in Spin and about two chapters of his--I grew up in Fargo and love heavy metal--first memoir. This interviewer compared him to Dave Eggers for his shared populist views on pop culture and writing in general. I don't see it but if they can both rip off pre-steroid baseball stats or tell me who Kent Tukulve is...then, fuck it. I love him. When he was being interviewed the fancy New Yorker was smitten by his folksy, observational worldview. He would point out the obvious while slugging bad beer. She was floored. He seemed like he was just talking through a somewhat comfortable date. He seemed like what I would hope I seemed like in an interview. I want to be interviewed. That's all I really want. I would like to believe that I have shit to say that someone would think is quirky, brilliant, midwestern, populist, deeply universal, observational, odd, funny, or interesting. Chuck Klosterman does say shit like that. He beat me to it. Bastard. Now I must like him.

Pseudo-celebrity envy rears its ugly head again. I am coming for you next, Jackson Publick.

The Collapse of Capitalism in Four Words plus other letters

Banks Have No Money?

Many other people can explain this much better than me.

OK, restart the blog again. This time with more stuff I like. This means much more internet research for extremely factual half-truths and wacky nothingness. Someone once told me to grow up on this. I agree for the most part. So bear with me. Let's do this again.

There is a lot different now but I am going to post some new doings in the One in the Oktopus world. We have written so many good shorts and ideas that I just have to post them. Hopefully our most wonderful Vangie will release the hounds of weirdness from the sacred Book of Things That Were Written Down.

Now go have some bacon, please. Wait, for the veggies...go have some brussel sprouts. They absolutely rule.

Five Random Things I cannot stand right now------

5. Sarah Palin's face (It makes words)
4. Windows Vista (I miss working on Macs)
3. The boring story lines of Star Wars (come on...great new video game...horrible, horrible writing)
2. No more The Wire ever again (rewatching season 5 mad me sad again...if you haven't seen it yet you don't like being entertained and informed)
1. Not updating my blog regularily (so annoying)

I want hair like Conway Twitty.

Bye. I love you.

Metropolis

I want to move to a big city. I want to have big city problems.

I had a waking daydream.

One billion Hindus rose up out of the muddy Ganges to slit my throat with colonial zeal. Four hundred thousand Jihadists sprang forth from the once Fertile Crescent. They all clamored for their forty virgins and I was only too willing to oblige. A righteous army of twenty centuries of Christians donned chain mail armor and coat-of-arms. They came in waves and waves of implausible fervor and spread my molecules amongst their hungry bloodlust.

I asked them a question.

Give or take a few living dead, all seven billion people alive today will be wiped clean of this Earth. True, they will be replaced but today...today, they only leave thought and theory.

Do I plan on leaving a legacy?

I have no religion, no community, no fascination with my own lack of knowledge.

I am spiritual bankrupt but I don't care.

The unknowable gigantic hourglass of the universe. The empirical evidence of nothingness is so much better than the blatant blindness of faith. Don't you think? Oh, you don't. That's OK. I am regressing and progressing into a state of blissful ignorance and unparalleled happiness. Yeah?

Grant me clemency.

I want to walk on a cobblestone street and be bewildered at things I see.

A building, a promise, a new beginning, an unrivaled hunger, a potential disaster.

How does one care about oneself knowing the universe is expanding? No, I mean it. Tell me, please. I am desperately searching for a little more grounding.

The buildings are sweating and crumbling to the ground. And I am extremely happy!

A shameful display on all accounts

OK, full disclosure. I have been gone for about two weeks trying to systematically destroy my life. It almost worked but I have hope that I will emerge a little wiser, a little more lusty about life. Here's to constant new beginnings.

I watched the Democratic Primary debate on ABC last night because I wanted to perhaps get in touch with American life a little bit. The results are firmly depressing. As an avid lover of political sciences and international governmental gamesmenship, I was dismayed to be treated to a disgusting tirade of bitchy yellow "journalism", Jerry Springereque theatre, and shit-smelling Sluggo buffoonery. And this refers to neither candidate. As reported on numerous politico-blogs and lefty e-news sites, the two assholes George Steph- (I don't want to look up how to spell his name...not worth my time) and Charlie Who-Gives-A-Fuck spent the first fifty minutes asking not ONE question on policy, NOT ONE! The exasperated Obama and Clinton fielded schoolyard barrages by coming up with new and interesting ways to describe lying. My favorite was the one about Obama knowing a former member of The Weather Underground. This guy happens to be a professor in Chicago and apparently lives by Obama so George Napolean complex asked him, since he knew this guy, if he also would probably bomb things and bash 9/11. Awesome questioning. Obama rightly pussed up and spit some venom back at this moderator. How come these shit-spewing "elite journalists" never venture to ask Republicans why they fucked things up royally. Instead, they fawn over how Bush can shake hands with an impotent, irrelevent Pope. The candidates both tried to buck up by saying Americans aren't stupid and won't be taken in by this "Gotcha" questioneering. Guess what? Most Americans are stupid and love this shit. Last debate I will ever watch. More important politics happens down at your local city hall.

The Twins suck!

I have no idea what I am doing but I promise to love myself a little more and quit being an asshole. How's that, blog? Would you like some more? How about a little less politics and more of my hopefully affable former tomfoolery? I think yes.

I loved the one comment on my April 1 blog. This made me want to write again. Well Done! I love you and blog and me.

This is just between me and Blog

I have redesigned this old girl in hopes that it will inspire me to put more frequent posts up here.

I know I always say that, honey. But I will this time. I love you blog. We belong together. I got you a new, shiny coat. For the three to four people who ever check this shit, I hope you appreciate what me and blog go through. Blog knows I have been cheating on her. She still has pictures to remember me but she knows I have changed. I have grown up a little. I like different things. She is reluctant but willing.

Reassure blog you like her, also. Post some comments. She likes to be noticed.

Almost an anniversary...

I went out last night and met some friends at a pro-choice benefit. I alude to the cause of the benefit only to highlight my stance on the pro-choice/pro-life teetertotter. Yeah, I donated the five bucks I won off some well-meaning idiots who challenged me to pool. I met some new people. My friend toasted me because it is two days until the one year anniversary of my last drink of sweet, sweet booze.

Most of the girls wished me well and said that they were really impressed with me. There were also some mentions of how impressive this feat is.

This being 1:45 in the morning, most of the people at our booth were drunk.

This makes me wonder

1) Are they truly impressed?
2) Do they want to be sober also?
3) Do they think that it is pretty lame that I am at a bar sober near closing time?

I don't know, really.

Worst Flags of the World

For some reason the list of the Worst Flags of the World includes a lot of somewhat new Oceanic countries. I am not sure if that means I hate change or new ideas but I think their flags are gaudy, weird messes. I understand that they have a lack of outside historical sense. Most of these countries have never had the need to have themselves represented to the outside world. However, that means there is no excuse for bad flags. There are plenty of symbols that would put them in Top list like---whales, sharks, cannibalism, white/black sand beaches, palm trees, tropical fish. Use them, please! Also, I could not upload the Ukrainian flag properly but trust me there is really no need to see it. It's boring! I present the Worst Flags of the World.




SEYCHELLES
---Busy nonsense. Presumably a sunrise or sunset exploding over the horizon but this may be the new flag of the LBGTG.







ST. LUCIA
---Star date Jan. 15th 2008. On this voyage to St. Lucia we find that it has been taken over by a large group of trekkies and one day they hope to use this island as a launching point to start the new federation of planets. And this is their flag!













UKRAINE
---Not much to say about this flag. This two-tone flag is a boring, bad color piece of nothingness. Sorry Ukrainians but Blah!


VATICAN CITY
---I expected greater things out of the Papacy. After all it is one of the oldest, most influential little nothing nation to ever exist in history. The up/down two-tone just doesn't work. The yellow is ugly but the crest almost takes it out of the Ten Worst catagory. Could've done better Popes!







ZAMBIA
---Unfortunately it looks like a late-era Nazi Afrika Korps battle flag. I don't think that there is any lingering German influence in Zambia but it is sad that they took for inspiration such a checkered historical nightmare. That said, I don't care how it makes me look...the Nazi had some excellent imperialistic and heavy-handed cultural motifs for its flags.





BARBADOS
---This is apparently home to the sea god Neptune's new kingdom and this trident proves it. Great place to score mermaids, though.







CHILE
---Wow! The South American equivilent of Texas. This can only mean they think they are an autonomous entity within a larger political system hellbent on thinking that they are the best, the biggest, and the fattest people in the land (and everyone else is either fucked or stupid). I hate Texas and now I have to hate Chile.






KIRIBATI
---Obvious ocean theme, bad colors, wavy lines. Not the worst but does it inspire anything? Does it mean anything? Will that bird ever land?






MARSHALL ISLANDS
---I almost didn't include this in the Worst list because I think it may signify what could possibly be the worst thing to happen to this group of islands. Once a testing ground for A and H bombs, the island pays homage to the atomic future by crafting a flag depicting a nuclear blast or a apocalyptic, creepy, futuristic version of a bomb-happy world.






NEPAL
---The worst flag ever! No rectangular shape and bad coloring. Sorry Buddhists, I know this flag is very important to you but I much prefer the colorful prayer flags to this sawed-off ode to bad flagmaking...could be a lack of textiles but I have seen their extravagant clothing. No excuse...hands down WORST FLAG IN THE UNIVERSE





Next post---Best Flags of the World

Ten Best Flags of the World

I love flags. There, I said it and I feel better already about it. As long as I can remember I have had an unbridled infatuation with flags. I have always loved to decipher their secrets, their meanings, their warring pretenses, and their claims of universal liberties and peace. Flags are perhaps the most important woven items in history. The have been used to navigate ships, identify nationalities, proclaim territories, signify team loyalty, and so much more. For some reason I wanted to examine my favorite and least favorite national flags. Since I spend way too much time analyzing and comparing them I thought I would offer up a Ten Best/Ten Worst list out of the two hundred or so flags of the world. While it is almost impossible to objectively look at flags for me without taking some political or historical fact into play I am doing this list hopefully strictly out of my feeble artistic sense. In other words whatever looks best to me and my personal art biases will be the ultimate deciding factor. As you will see there is no USA or Great Britain or any Western European countries. This is because of the preponderance of the boring three bar color scheme or the equally boring stripe theme. While these colors mean various wonderful things (liberty, equality, etc.) and there are some excellent flags (Ireland, Spain, Germany, Iceland, etc.), they don't really rank in either the best or worst so without further discussion on to the list.




THE PROUD BUT NOT THE BEST






10) LEBANON
---A simple and strange flag. When I think of Lebanon I can't help but think of Beruit under siege or scenes of multinational tourists sun-soaking in a seaside daze. I picked this flag because it makes me think of Christmas which most definitely is not the intention of the creator or followers of the flag. Nice tree, nice colors, simple, weird.







9)SRI LANKA
---A colorful and distinct flag. A little nod to their Indian neighbors to the north with two-bar color scheme in the left corner. Mostly I love the sword brandishing tiger and the four-pointed leaf display. A little regal and war mongering. Very cool.







8)SWAZILAND
---Obviously the motif is pure African. The Zulu shield also doubles as sort of a Rohrshach test. It has all the goods of pre-colonial Africa in its shield, spears, and tribal branding. Great color scheme and powerful, strong flag.











7) DOMINICA
---This Caribbean nation is represented by its green, yellow, and black colors. Always a good feeling color scheme. Who couldn't love a flag with its centerpiece a starry, circled parrot regally perched on a branch? Laid back, tropical coolness at its best.






6) ALBANIA
---In perhaps stark contrast to the Dominica flag, I love the Albanian flag for its simple, imperial double-headed eagle design. A bit dragon-like and Dark Age, this flag evokes strong feelings of small banded clans in constant historical struggle against its neighbors in a race for independence and freedom from subservience. Red and black is a great and powerful color combination.






FORMER SOVIET, MOSTLY ISLAMIC, ALL WORLD FLAG DESIGN




tie 5,4,3) TURKMENISTAN, KAZAKHSTAN, UZBEKISTAN









---These breakaway former Soviet republics have similar themes but vastly different flags. I love the Islamic crescent moon motif in any flag and two of these have that in different forms. All of these have really nice color schemes and unique, differing features. Could be excellent rugs or one could revel in loving a obscure culture and flags.


















THE TWO BEASTS OF GREATNESS



2) BHUTAN
---This small Buddhist country smartly uses a dragon on their flag, sure to earn top honors on any list I would make. Even though the dragon appears to be teetering on apples in some strange balancing ritual I can't praise this cool flag enough. Most assuredly the orange and yellow color scheme will win me over anytime but when you add a mythical being into representation of actual people living in this age...truly wonderful!





1) UGANDA
---Quite simply, the greatest flag anyone has ever created. I love the twice repeated triple bar pattern. The colors are great and moving and nobody else uses this pattern in full. The reason this flag earns top billing is probably evident if you examine other flags in the top ten. It absolutely works when a country puts some sort of animal or mythical being in their flag. It changes the monotonous bar and stripe color boringness into something completely unique and eye-catching. So to the colorful and whimsical Ugandans (Idi Amin not withstanding) putting a ROOSTER (!) smack dab in the middle of your flag has earned you the NUMBER ONE FLAG IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!