The Birthing Plunge or A Manifesto about a Manifesto

Welcome to our cultural wasteland. Expect a gas mask and a movie about eating utensils. Don't expect bland and inoffensive thirty-something white politico commentary. Expect to do your dishes sixteen thousand feet under the sea completely impervious to the effects of what you have been told is human-crushing depth pressure. Don't expect to find one single piece of preconceived wit. In fact don't expect to find one single piece of wit anywhere within. Expect pointless electronic meditations on 60's-era Soviet secret towns and ribald debates on the virtues of keeping dogs alive while separating them from their physical brains (for supersecret Soviet science, of course). Don't expect me to be at a desk. Expect me to be writing this on the toliet (which I truly am right now). Don't expect to find out the encrypted locale and domain to the website that will finally melt your consciousness and R.E.M. life into one steaming pile of orgasmic pulsating reality/unreality. Expect that website to also show signs of life along the speed gradient of a mating Oregon slug or a 4'2" grandma behind the wheel of a two-lane Crown Victoria. Expect that circuit bending will become an instant party topic for you and you will further more hold court at all your future social gatherings armed with a stupifying array of mind-blowing almost facts, go-nowhere "jokes", misquoted movie lines, and tasty geographic oddities. Don't expect that we don't know how brilliant that we already are. Expect that anything you have ever thought or will think has already been pondered and dismissed at our daily dissemination meetings. Don't expect melody or harmony or lyrics or actual "music". Expect that your life can now go on with meaning.

This is the beginning of the end.
This is the new Manifesto.
This is decoded and received by Polish spies and translated for posterity.
This is the Fourth International.
This is One and the Oktopus.

We hope you will tune in regularily but we don't really care all that much.