Metropolis

I want to move to a big city. I want to have big city problems.

I had a waking daydream.

One billion Hindus rose up out of the muddy Ganges to slit my throat with colonial zeal. Four hundred thousand Jihadists sprang forth from the once Fertile Crescent. They all clamored for their forty virgins and I was only too willing to oblige. A righteous army of twenty centuries of Christians donned chain mail armor and coat-of-arms. They came in waves and waves of implausible fervor and spread my molecules amongst their hungry bloodlust.

I asked them a question.

Give or take a few living dead, all seven billion people alive today will be wiped clean of this Earth. True, they will be replaced but today...today, they only leave thought and theory.

Do I plan on leaving a legacy?

I have no religion, no community, no fascination with my own lack of knowledge.

I am spiritual bankrupt but I don't care.

The unknowable gigantic hourglass of the universe. The empirical evidence of nothingness is so much better than the blatant blindness of faith. Don't you think? Oh, you don't. That's OK. I am regressing and progressing into a state of blissful ignorance and unparalleled happiness. Yeah?

Grant me clemency.

I want to walk on a cobblestone street and be bewildered at things I see.

A building, a promise, a new beginning, an unrivaled hunger, a potential disaster.

How does one care about oneself knowing the universe is expanding? No, I mean it. Tell me, please. I am desperately searching for a little more grounding.

The buildings are sweating and crumbling to the ground. And I am extremely happy!